


TV Trivia

by Dawnwind



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Alphabet, Gen, stake-out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 05:34:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20371510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnwind/pseuds/Dawnwind
Summary: Starsky and Hutch discuss Wild, Wild West while on stake-out. This is a double alphabet story--the first letter of each sentence is in alphabetical order.





	TV Trivia

"Artemus Gordon," Starsky said, taping his foot with boredom with one hand balanced on the steering wheel, staring out at the empty warehouse across the street.

Binoculars focused on the warehouse, Hutch didn’t look away. "Could you be more specific?" 

"Don’t you remember watching _Wild, Wild West_ last Saturday after the game?"

"Exactly what does that have to do with watching West’s Import and Export for illegal activities?" 

"Fun?" Grinning, Starsky repeated himself, "Artemus—doesn’t that sound like a girl’s name?"

Heaving a long sigh at his annoying partner, Hutch finally decided that he would have to join in and lowered his binoculars to look over at Starsky. "It is, Artemus is a Greek god."

"Just like I thought," Starsky continued. "Kidnapped and tied chest to chest to James West by that little short guy, what was his name? Loveless."

"Maybe," Hutch agreed, reluctantly. "Now, you point is?" 

"Only that it’s the gayest show on TV. Put the two of them together on that train all the time . . ." Quietly, Starsky pointed over to the left. Rounding the corner, a blue sedan pulled up to the curb.

"Starsk, call for back-up," Hutch advised, easing open the car door just as a short balding man came out of the warehouse.

"That’s West himself," Starsky whispered, relaying the details to dispatch. "Uh—Hutch . . ." he called, but his partner was already halfway across the street. "Very well, don’t wait for me!"

With all speed, Starsky raced in Hutch’s wake, both of them pulling up behind a dumpster. 

"Xavier!" West called from the warehouse door. "You got the shipment?"

"Zambian zebu hides," the man from the car agreed. "And the money?"

"Better be good quality," West replied. "Can’t fork over the dough until I see the merchandise."

"Don’t move!" Hutch shouted. "Everyone down on the ground with your hands behind your head."

"Fuck, it’s the cops!" the smuggler yelled and tried to run. 

"Gotcha!" Starsky yelled, leveling his gun at his prisoner. "How about a ride to jail?"

"It isn’t what you think, gentlemen," West stalled, still on his feet. "Jacob is my brother, and he and I had a legitimate business deal."

"Keeping it all in the family," Hutch said, gesturing for West to put his hands behind his back so that he could cuff him. "Let the judge sort out whether you have a permit to import endangered animal hides."

"My lawyer will hear about this!" Jacob growled when Starsky hauled him over to the Torino.

"Nice to know scumbags like you have legal counsel," Starsky said, waiting while Hutch did the same to Xavier. "Over and done with. Pretty slick, think Dobey’ll let us go home early?"

"Quite a lot of paperwork on your desk, babe. Remember?"

Starsky said, "I wanted to watch something. Tonight’s _Charlie’s Angels_ and Farrah’s up front. Undercover with the mob, wearing nothing but a bikini and a gun, my kind of show."

"_Wild, Wild West _no longer your favorite? ‘Xactly when were you going to tell me about your fixation with her? You’re as fickle as a chick."

"Zebra-three, coming in with two prisoners," Starsky reported in, ignoring his partner.

Fin


End file.
